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Why?
by Sieglinde W. Alexander
Why have you injured my spirit?
Why have you hurt my body?
Why have you manipulated my mind?
Why have you dismantled my autonomy, left me in lost pieces I struggle to
recover so I can repair myself?
Why did you dominate instead of loving me?
What was it you made me suffer for?
Whom or what did it serve?
Who gained from this violent destruction of innocence?
Did it help you becoming whole?
Did it help you on your journey through life?
Or was it because you have been treated abusively, so you could not allow
another to feel whole?
Was it the pain of your own childhood that has left you knowing that the
innocent child has no power?
What you have accomplished with the destruction
of someone else?
Was it that you needed to destroy in others that has been ruined in you?
Was it the lesson of never being loved by anyone that taught you to control
(ruin) the purity of others?
Did you think that you would be happy when you beat me, molested me,
controlled me and crushed my basic humanity?
Have you thought if you do not fulfill my needs then your unfulfilled needs
find justification?
Tell me how it feels to be an abused child and
become a perpetrator who never says, I am sorry.
Why are you afraid of saying the words I needed to hear to value my own being?
Was it your intention simply to destroy another human being because you were
destroyed?
Would you feel better, if I as the product of
your destruction, now destroy another innocent life?
Can't you see the never-ending spiral of destruction?
Tell me, where and when will it end?
Or, will it ever end before this earth explodes with the smell of burning
pain, filled with those who were harmed and who will harm again, while nothing
valuable remains because of the never ending destruction?
Would you say, as the one how lived through
both, being abused and becoming an abuser, that such life is worth living?
Say the words we all need so desperately need
to hear. Allow us to heal the wounds so we will not become like you; rather,
feel empathy for the pain dormant inside you. Give us a chance to turn
violence into humanity, say "I am sorry," mean it and feel your pain, so you
have a chance to heal. Allow, with your sorrows, healing the wounded
worldwide.
© Sieglinde W. Alexander
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Haunting Shadows from the Past
